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iceminkHere it is, the essay I've written for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
buffyversemeta. Please let me know what you think, even (actually especially) if you disagree. I know that some of the ways I have chosen to interpret the show are just that, interpretations, and I'd love to know what people thing about them.
At first glance, Darla and Joyce might seem to be two characters with almost nothing in common. Joyce is a modern woman, a single mother, a small business owner, and a kind compassionate woman. Darla, on the other hand, comes from a world when women gain power through men. She is selfish, cruel, and usually evil. But they are both mothers, and the similarities go deeper than the fact that they both were pregnant at some point.
Both Darla and Joyce choose to have a first child (Angelus and Buffy), are then given a second mystical child (Connor and Dawn) and die soon after. Furthermore they are both the mother's of champions, and that causes problems for both of them. When Joyce finally learns that Buffy is the Slayer, a fight ensues and Joyce tells Buffy that she must either stay in her mothers house, or if she leaves she shouldn't come back (Becoming Part 2 2.22). When Darla discovers that Angelus has been cursed with a soul, they also fight. At first Darla throws Angel out. When he finds her in China, she gives him a second chance, but then ends up giving him an ultimatum. Kill a baby, or leave for good (Darla 2.07)
But Darla is hardly the demonic version of Joyce (or vice a versa). They both deal with the challenges of motherhood in different ways. Darla encourages her children to be independent, to stand on their own feet, and to fight back even if it looks like they are going to loose. Joyce on the other hand is very protective. She tries to create a safe, protected space for her daughters and discourages independence.
Joyce as Mother
In the first three seasons of BtVS Joyce tends to appear onscreen only when she is directly effecting Buffy's life in a parental way. Even the episodes Ted (2.11) and Band Candy (3.06) are about what happens when Joyce strays from her role as mother. We see virtually nothing of Joyce in Season 4, only to have her reappear strongly in the first half of Season 5. Of course in retrospect, we realize that every one of Joyce's appearances in Season 5 is basically a set up for her death, and is there to establish the hole in Buffy's life that being motherless will create.
When talking about human mother's in BtVS and AtS it is important to note that there is a huge subsection of human mothers who are simply absent from their children's life, or so eclipsed by their husbands as to not be important. Xander, Willow, and Cordelia's mothers fall into the first category. Angel, Wesley, and Giles' mothers fall into the second.
And fundamentally Joyce is a good mother. She loves her daughter, and she only wants what is best for Buffy. However, Joyce doesn't seem to be equipped to handle the 'real world' in the buffyverse, which her daughter is very much a part of. And despite all of her good qualities, much of what Joyce does is not to her daughter's benefit.
In the first two seasons Joyce rarely has any advice for Buffy beyond, stay out of trouble. She does suggest at one point that Buffy join the yearbook staff (The Witch 1.03), she also encourages Buffy to go to the dance in Prophecy Girl (1.12) even though Buffy doesn't have a date. But Joyce spends most of her time worrying about whatever trouble Buffy might get into. So much so, that on Buffy's seventeenth birthday Buffy is still asking for permission to get a driver's license. And she even in season 3 Buffy still can't drive, as we see in Band Candy (3.06). This isn't a trivial thing. Although Buffy can clearly get around Sunnydale all right on foot, getting your driver's license is one of the few rights of passage left in mainstream American society.
Of course in the first two seasons, Joyce is unaware of what is really going on in Buffy's life, and why Buffy keeps getting into trouble. But once she does learn that her daughter has a sacred duty, and that she has saved the world on more than one occasion, it does little to comfort Joyce.
Joyce spends the first part of season 3 punishing her daughter and restricting her freedoms because Buffy ran away. But Buffy left home because Joyce told her that she couldn't come back (even though of course Joyce didn't mean it). By the time Buffy returns home Joyce has had plenty of time to understand her daughter's duties as the slayer, and to understand that Buffy had to leave the house that night. And we must assume that at some point Buffy told her mother about her life in LA as Anne. Although Buffy was wrong to leave Sunnydale, having made that one bad decisions, Buffy does very well for herself. Her mother should at least be comforted by the fact that Buffy was able to take care of herself under less than ideal circumstances (the way she says she is at the end of School Hard (2.03). Instead Joyce responds to her daughters ability to act as an adult, by treating her more like a child, and restricting what Buffy can and can't do.
And Joyce has reason to fear Buffy's independence. In Normal Again (6.17) we finally hear Joyce acknowledge Buffy's strength, "You've got a world of strength in your heart. I know you do. You just have to find it again. Believe in yourself." Buffy does, and the result is that she leaves her parents behind. Instead of relying on them to take care of her in the world of the asylum, she returns to the world we know and tries to take her place as an adult.
Similarly, the few times we see Joyce in season 4, it is clear that Buffy has left her mother behind, and that Joyce wants her daughter to return home, at least from time to time. In Season 5, Joyce seems to have let go of Buffy and become comfortable with her daughter's independence. But we must remember that Buffy is no longer an only child. Joyce now has Dawn, and Dawn is happy being the baby of the family and being reliant on her mother.
That Joyce cares very deeply about what happens to her daughters and is involved in their lives is a good thing. But not only does Joyce try and get Buffy to rely on her, she also tries to break Buffy's ties with other strong adult figures, especially men.
Joyce does this from the very beginning of the series with her choice to move Buffy to Sunnydale and away from her father. In The Witch (1.03) Joyce reminds Buffy, "Your own thing, whatever it is, got you kicked out of school, and we had to move here to find a decent school that would take you!" Think about this statement for a minute. Not only does Joyce lay the burden of their move to Sunnydale on Buffy's shoulders, but it's probably not true.
We know that Buffy and Joyce moved from LA, one of the biggest metropolises in the world. Are we really expected to believe that in the entire city there wasn't one school that would take Buffy? Obviously Joyce wants Buffy to go to a good school, but there are a lot of good schools in LA. And even if they couldn't get her into a good public school for some reason, private school is not beyond the reach of the Summers'. In Dead Man's Party (3.02) Joyce mentions the possibility of private school for Buffy if she can't get back into Sunnydale High. And this is in Season 3, where it seems rather safe to assume that Joyce would be footing the bill herself without any help from Hank. In Season 1 Hank and Buffy's relationship is still pretty close, so it seems reasonable to assume that he would have helped pay for the tuition to keep his daughter in a good school and in LA.
So why did Joyce decide to uproot her daughter and move to Sunnydale? Probably because Joyce, recently divorced wants to start a new life. It's not clear what Joyce did in LA, if she had a job or if she was a housewife, but even if she did have a job, it must not have been very fulfilling. We never hear Joyce talk about the life or friends she left behind. Instead Joyce mostly talks about her new gallery. Whatever Joyce did before the divorce, she obviously came away from it with some money. Enough to buy a house and a start a business in Sunnydale, something she probably could not do in LA, because LA is very expensive, whereas we know that the property values in Sunnydale are rather low.
And if her decision to move to Sunnydale was really about what was best for Buffy, why doesn't she suggest moving at the beginning of Season 3? Not only has Buffy been kicked out of school once again, but Joyce is now aware that the 'safe' little suburban town of Sunnydale is in fact one of the most dangerous places a person could choose to live. And this clearly concerns Joyce, because she encourages Buffy to choose a college as far away from Sunnydale as possible. But once Joyce has established her life in Sunnydale, she doesn't want to leave it, so she never suggests moving to ensure her daughters safety, and she fights to get Buffy back into Sunnydale High.
So Joyce ends up separating Buffy from her father in LA, and does very little to help keep their relationship together. Admittedly, if Hank were a good father, he would have continued to be part of Buffy, and later Dawn's life despite the distance to Sunnydale. But we have to wonder what Joyce expected to happen when she moved her daughter away from LA. After all Joyce has known Hank for at least sixteen years. Although she may never have consciously thought about it, she should have realized on some level that Hank was a good father when it was convenient for him to be one.
And Joyce makes it very inconvenient. Not only does she move Buffy several hours away, but we never hear of Joyce offering to take Buffy to LA to see her father, he is always expected to be the one to make the trip, and remember she prevents Buffy from getting her drivers license, and thus makes it harder for Buffy to visit her father.
And Hank isn't the only man Joyce wants out of Buffy's life. In Anne (3.01) Joyce clearly voices her displeasure with Giles' role in Buffy's life, "You've been this huge influence on her, guiding her. You had this whole relationship with her behind my back. I feel like you've taken her away from me." Joyce has very little power to drive Giles out of Buffy's life, but at this point it is clear that she wants him gone. Joyce's attitude about Giles doesn't seem to change until she realizes that he can be a potential ally in keeping her daughter dependent on her, and they begin planning out the minutia of Buffy's life together.
Joyce is also very clear about her opinions of Angel, and her talk with him in The Prom (3.20) clearly helps push him towards the decision to leave Buffy and Sunnydale. Similarly, when she discovers that Spike is in love with Buffy, she advises Buffy to make it clear to him right away that she isn't interested, despite the fact that Joyce herself rather likes Spike's company.
In fact the only two men that Joyce doesn't seem to disapprove of are Xander and Riley. But neither of them exert much influence over Buffy. Although Buffy often hides things from both men when she thinks they won't approve, neither of them hold much sway in her life, and so aren't 'threats' to Joyce's influence over Buffy or Buffy's dependance on her mother.
Darla as Mother
Unlike Joyce, Darla doesn't really seem like the motherly type. However, a closer look shows that she not only is Connor's mother, but acts very much like a mother to Angelus in his early years, and also to Spike and Dru.
Despite the fact that Darla calls Angel(us) her 'dear boy', at first glance their relationship seems to be more one of lovers than one of parent child. In fact these two relationships exist side by side. However, as we shall see, Angelus' fledgling years seem to stretch from his turning in 1753 until about 1767 where they meet up with two other vampires named James and Elizabeth. It is during this period that Darla's actions are the most motherly, and after this time, that Angelus 'grows up' and becomes more her equal and less her child.
From the first moment Angelus rises from the grave, Darla is there to guide him in his new unlife. This is rather significant, as vampires are rarely so caring of their young. Countless vampires are left to rise alone. Of course their sires may simply decided not to stay and watch when they see that the Slayer has a fresh grave staked out, but there seems to be other evidence that vampires often leave new fledglings to make it on their own. The vampire Darla tries to get to sire her in The Trial (2.09) doesn't seem to ever have met his Sire. And in Potential (7.12) Buffy brings the junior slayers to a vampire nest, where a fledgling has been left to rise all on his own.
As for Darla and Angelus, she is there not only to watch him rise, but also to guide him through his first kill. Then after Angelus has killed his family, Darla is there to wisely point out that Angelus will never be over his issues with his father. She ends by saying, "Darling boy. So young. Still so very young." (The Prodigal 1.15) And then when she brings Angelus before the Master she is brimming with praise for her Childe. She might as well have a bumper sticker that reads "My child ate the honor roll."
Angelus and Darla spend the next decade or so living it up and hiding from vampire hunters like Holtz. Three significant things happen in this time frame: Darla hits Angelus over the head with a shovel and leaves him to die in a barn, they meet a couple vampires named James and Elizabeth, and Angelus is captured by Holtz and the rescued by Darla.
The shovel incident at first glance seems to be nothing but a selfish act by Darla and not very mother like. But when viewed in the context of what came before and what comes after, it can be seen as a pivotal moment in Angelus' growing up. Before this moment Darla has coddled Angelus. She was there to hold his hand through his first night of unlife. And by leaving with him instead of staying in The Master's court, she also protected him from the consequences of his insolence. We should not assume that The Master's threats towards Angelus were idle. In Angel (1.07) he has Darla execute three of his best warriors when they fail to kill Buffy in one try. And in Teacher's Pet (1.04) we learn that he had another powerful vampire cut off his hand in penance for something.
And Darla's act is not one of cowardice (even though it is one of self preservation). A few years later she not only rescues Angelus from Holtz, but does it in a rather daring daytime rescue, clearly putting herself in jeopardy. And whereas in the barn they were only threatened by a mob of rowdy villagers with torches, Angelus' capture happens in Rome, and he's being held by some group of rogue inquisitors. This is at least as dangerous if not a more dangerous situation than the one in the barn, and one that Darla could have simply avoided all together if she chose (Offspring 3.07)
So why does she abandon Angelus in the barn and not in Rome? Perhaps because Darla still has an important lesson to teach Angelus; don't give up. Right before she hits him on the head with the shovel Angelus says, "We'll not make it easy for 'em, I can tell you that. They're men - mortals. Between the two of us we can go out with a reputation. Even death with the right companion..." (The Trial 2.09) Angelus is clearly thinking as a mortal and not as a vampire. For a mortal who knows that one day no matter what they will die, there is potential something to be gained by a 'good death'. But vampires can potentially live forever.
It is still true that Darla's act is selfish, but we have to remember that she is a vampire, and it is her job not to raise Angelus according to human standards, but according to vampiric ones. And it is also important to note that she really does mean it when she hopes that Angelus will live through this. If she didn't want him too, she could have just as easily staked him with the handle of the shovel as hit him over the head with the other end. Arguably she doesn't do this, because Angelus will provide a distraction to give her more time to get away, but this same argument could be used the other way. Since the mob is clearly close by, they would most likely see her riding off, and some portion of the mob would follow her. This may have been what gave Angelus the chance he needed to escape.
And Angelus doesn't hold it against her. In fact he respects the lesson. A few years later when we see them with James and Elizabeth they both brag about the event. But more importantly, Angelus acts like an older vampire counseling the two (supposedly) younger vampires on the ways of life and love (Heartthrob 3.01). From this point on Darla rarely treats Angelus like a child but instead as her equal and consort. His escape from the barn acts as a sort of coming of age. From this point on, Angelus position is nearly equal to Darla's.
And so later, when Angelus decides to turn a certain crazy nun into a vampire, Darla takes on the role of mother again. Not only does she humor Angelus when he wants to turn Drusilla, but she also humors Dru when Dru longs for a childe of her own, even though Darla thinks that Dru might "Take the first drooling idiot that comes along."(Darla 2.07)
But let's skip over Darla and Dru for the time being, and look at Darla and Spike. We have very few scenes of the two of them, but a close look at these few scenes shows clear signs of affections between them.
First there is mine in Yorkshire. This scene starts off with Angelus choking and threatening Spike because something he has done nearly got them all killed. Contrast this to Darla's behavior, not only does she not respond to Spike with threats or violence, but she takes the time to make sure Spike understands which of his behavior is unacceptable. "Look, we barely got out of London alive because of you. Everywhere we go, it's the same story." (Fool for Love 5.07). Sure she's exasperated and upset, but Spike has put all their lives in danger. Darla and Angelus work together here as parents to try and discipline Spike.
And then something really interesting happens. As the tension between Spike and Angelus grows, Darla turns to Dru and says, "I think our boys are going to fight," (Fool for Love 5.07). The idea clearly excites her, but more is going on here than just Darla showing her kink for violence. Darla is in fact showing approval of Spike's refusal to back down.
In this situation only Spike (and not Angelus) has the power to start a fight. Angelus can push Spike all he wants, but Spike as the lowest status member of the family has the option of backing down. At this point he has so little status in the family that he can't loose any. Angelus on the other hand, has no choice but to respond to any aggressive actions of Spike with equal if not grater force, because he has all the status and therefore has a great deal to loose by back down.
And not only does Darla encourage independence in Spike, she does so at a point when she likely has very little emotional attachment to him. The mine scene takes place in 1880, the same year that Spike was turned, and as we learn in Destiny (5.08) Darla was not present for Spike's earliest days as a vampire. In theory all of her loyalty should lie with Angelus, and yet there she is encouraging Spike to stand up to him, and making it much harder for Angelus to discipline him.
The fact that she does this seems to reinforce the motherly role she plays among the Fanged Four. Although she is clearly concerned with whatever it is that Spike's been doing to drive them first out of London and then into a mine shaft, she is also concerned with Spike's overall upbringing. If she wanted Spike to simply fall in line and do as she and Angelus said as if he were a minion, she would join Angelus in the disciplining of Spike. Instead she takes the view that in the long run it is advantageous for a vampire not to give up, even when the odds are clearly stacked against them (this is in effect the same lesson she gave to Angelus in the barn).
And by the time we get to Rome, the Immortal, and The Girl in Question (5.20), Spike and Darla seem to get along rather well. As![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
peasant_ explains in her essay The Obstructed View - Spike and Darla's Hidden Relationship:
Far more revealing is Spike’s reaction in The Girl in Question.
A bedroom. Angelus is looking down at Darla, who’s sprawled out naked, face-down on the bed, her hair all disheveled.
Angelus Darla!
Spike What have they done to her?
(AtS 5.20 The Girl in Question)
Now this sounds like genuine concern. Bear in mind that this scene is set in 1894 so Spike and Darla have had time to settle down in their relationship to one another, and it seems clear from this that he is not at all happy with the impression that she is hurt. (. . .) As a side note though it is worth remarking that the remark "Concurrently? You never let us do that." in The Girl in Question implies that Spike and Darla may sleep together as part of normal family interactions.
But of course, Angelus remains the center of Darla's life. Which is why it is again telling that when she looses him, and her world is turned out upside down, she doesn't take it all out on Spike. After Angelus is souled, Darla takes the remains of her family to the gypsy camp in order to try and force the gypsies to undo their curse. She makes the mistake however, of not telling Spike and Dru why they are there, and who needs to be spared, and Spike kills the gypsies that she needs alive. Considering the way she tossed Angelus out into the street when he was cursed, we might expect her to loose her temper at Spike and take out her rage and frustration on him, but she doesn't. She accepts that it isn't his fault, and even tells him and Dru to go on and kill the rest of the camp (Darla 2.07)
And why didn't she tell Spike and Drusilla about what happened to Angelus? As a mother she keeps this information to herself to protect all of her children. She protects Angelus by keeping the secret of his curse, presumably both to save him from embarrassment if she can fix it, but also potentially to protect him from other vampires. Both in Romania and later in China, Darla's admits that she should (or at least thinks she should) stake Angel. And Angel is clearly very vulnerable at this stage, and it is unclear if he would try and defend himself. Making his condition known could be very dangerous for him.
But she's also protecting Spike and Dru. It is not uncommon for parents to lie and coverup a disease in the family to keep from scaring children, and this is more or less what Darla does. We know from Destiny (5.08) that from time to time Darla and Angelus fight and separate, and we can presume that this is the excuse she uses to explain Angelus' absence, and his later reappearance in China.
As for Drusilla, the clearest example of the mother daughter relationship between the two of them comes after Drusilla sires Darla, and Darla becomes a vampire for the second time. Darla's first reaction to Drusilla is to attack her. Darla didn't want to be turned, and clearly feels that Drusilla had no right to take this decision from her. But once a tearful Dru explains that she only did it because she thought it was best for Darla, Darla forgives her. Darla puts her arms around the sobbing vampire, and comforts her (Reunion 2.10). And this is the only time we see the two female vampires fight. Although Darla has little interest in Drusilla's ramblings, she endures them rather patiently, even if she does roll her eyes from time to time.
We see Darla comforting Dru again in the next episode, Redefinition (2.11), when Angel sets the two of them on fire. Once the two vampires have extinguished themselves, it is Darla who puts her arm around Drusilla and tries to comfort her.
And it seems likely that Darla has encouraged in Drusilla the same independence that she encourages in Angelus and Spike. Despite the fact that Dru is mad as a loon, she is quite capable of taking care of herself. She obviously managed to do it during some part of World War II, since we know that Spike found himself on a submarine, without her. Presumably she was left in Spain, while he had to try and make his way back from America in the middle of the war (Why We Fight 5.13). She also does just fine on her own after she dumps Spike, and before Wolfram & Hart bring her to LA. And we have no reason to think that Drusilla isn't still out their somewhere as the dragons descend on LA in Not Fade Away(5.22). And of course the threat of her regaining her full power is enough that a second slayer is sent to Sunnydale to stop it (What's My Line Part 1 2.09).
And it seems likely that it was Darla who taught her to take care of herself. Angelus seems to like Drusilla best when she is subservient to him. Of course from the time Drusilla becomes a vampire, until Spike joins the family, we have no examples of Angelus and Dru together. It may be that pre-Spike their relationship was much different. However, it seems that once he has driven her crazy, Dru is only interesting to Angelus when she can be used to torture Spike. The scene in Destiny (5.08), where Angelus arranges for Spike to catch him sleeping with Dru, seems to suggest that Angelus hasn't bothered to have sex with Drusilla since William was turned. And in fact Drusilla, complains that she is all alone, and that Angelus mostly pays attention to Darla on the night when she decides to turn William. And Spike clearly enjoys taking care of Drusilla, so it is likely that it was Darla who was responsible for most of Drusilla's training.
And by the time we get to Season 2 of Angel, Darla clearly allows Dru a fair amount of freedom. The circumstances under which Drusilla leaves LA aren't clear, but she there's no reason to think that Darla told her to leave. Drusilla seems to want Spike to come back to LA with her in Crush (5.14), but if she was expected to return to LA, Darla never seems worried or upset that Drusilla hasn't come back. So even though Darla returns to her role as mother when Dru is hurt, she clearly views Drusilla as having grown up and being capable of taking care of herself.
There is one final thing to note about Darla's relationship with Dru. Darla never seems to be jealous of Drusilla's relationships with men, even when they are with the very same men Darla is involved with. When Dru complains that Angelus spends to much time with Angelus, Darla's response is "All you have to do is ask," (Darla 2.07) and Darla is quite willing to share her one night stand with the Immortal with Drusilla.
Finally there is Connor. He is a difficult case to deal with, because the only time we see the two of them together, Darla (if it is really her) is some sort of ghost, and seems very much changed from the Darla we have come to know. Still, the language that Darla uses to plead with Connor is telling, "You have a choice, Connor. That is something more precious then you'll ever know," and "Why? (gestures to Cordelia in the next room) Because she told you? There are things happening, Connor, things that I can't— (sigh) It has to be your choice. You can stop this," (Inside Out 4.17).
Darla emphasizes that Connor is independent. That choices are his, and that he shouldn't do what Cordelia says just because Cordelia assures him that it is for the best. Clearly Darla wants him to choose not to kill the girl, but she emphasizes that his decision should be based on what he thinks is right, and not who he wants to please.
The Other Mothers of the Buffyverse
The patterns of motherhood that Darla and Joyce embody aren't limited to them. We can see that this pattern plays out in other mothers both human and demonic. It becomes especially clear in the two cases where we have a woman who is both a human and a demonic mother.
The first of these cases in Anne, Spike's mother. William is clearly a mom's boy. He seems to have lived his entire life in a very sheltered world created by his mother. So much so that he is unable to relate to his peers, and not just his male peers. Not only does Cecily look down on William, but we see William refuse to be part of a conversation about a recent series of murders. Although she never says anything, there is a young lady standing there in this conversation, and unlike William she seems to find the conversation interesting (Fool For Love 5.07).
Admittedly Anne does seem to encourage William to look for a wife, but it seems clear that even if he got married William would not leave his mother's house. He tells her, "I still have hopes that one day there will be an addition to this household," (Lies My Parent's Told Me 7.17).
But then William becomes a vampire, and is so tied to his mother that one of the first things he does is return home to turn his mother so that she can spend eternity with him and Drusilla. But becoming a vampire gives Anne a new view on the world and her son. She tells William, "I feel extraordinary. It's as though I've been given new eyes. I see everything. Understand... (looks at William, frowns) everything." And what does she do with her new vision? "I hate to be cruel— No, I don't. I used to hate to be cruel in life. Now, I find it rather freeing. Nothing less will pry your greedy little fingers off my apron strings, will it?"
And Anne is very cruel to William. But there is no reason to think she would have been so cruel to him if he wasn't trying to remain dependent on her. When she first rises she says, "I suppose I have you to thank for that, don't I? How ever will I repay you?" She starts off being grateful, it is only when she see that however much she has changed, her son hasn't, that she begins to berate him and try and drive him away. And there's no reason to think that Anne is really interested in sleeping with William (although as a vampire the taboo nature of incest may turn her on) she's trying to make a point. It's time for William to leave the nest and go out into the world on his own. Finally she attacks William with her cane, and tries to drive him out.
The second case of a character who is both a human and demonic mother is Buffy herself. After Joyce's death, Buffy takes on the role of mother to Dawn. Although Buffy isn't as good as being a mother as Joyce was, she actually mimics her mother's behaviors. Buffy's first priority is to protect Dawn. Admittedly in Season 5 Dawn is in a great deal of danger, but Buffy becomes oppressive with her overprotectiveness. She needs to know where Dawn is at all times, much the way her mother and Giles scheduled her own time in Season 3.
In Season 6, when the threat of Glory has passed, Buffy relaxes her overprotectiveness some, however she continues to hide things from Dawn for her 'own good'. Moreover, she doesn't allow Dawn to become an independent part of the Scoobies. When she discovers Dawn doing research Buffy says, "You do research now? Want a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with it?" (Flooded 6.04). It isn't until the end of the season when everything has gone to hell, that Dawn finally gets Buffy to begin to treat her as an adult.
This victory is short lived however. Yes Season 7 begins with Buffy training Dawn to fight vampires, but it doesn't take long for Buffy to jump at the chance to work in Dawn's school so she can keep an eye on her sister more of the time. And it is once Buffy becomes too involved with the potentials to keep Dawn under her thumb, that we really see Dawn blossom and take her place among the Scoobies.
As Season 7 progresses Buffy takes on new responsibilities as a mother. This time a demonic one. It might seem at first odd to call the slayer a demon, but as we learn more about the history of the slayer line in Season 7, it seems to be more appropriate. As we see in Get It Done (7.15), the First Slayer was created when the Shadow Men basically raped a young girl with the essence of a demon. A vampire passes on their legacy by killing, a slayer passes on hers by dying. And as Giles gathers the remaining potential slayers in Sunnydale, Buffy becomes their mother.
Of course, mother isn't the word that Buffy uses. She calls herself a general. But military units are very family like, with the senior officer standing in the place of the parent. And although Buffy tries to distance herself from the potentials, she obviously cares a great deal about them, even when she can't remember all their names. After all, like all children, they are younger versions of herself.
And like Darla, Buffy knows that these girls must learn to stand on their own and fight no matter what. Just as Darla leaves Angelus in the barn to deal with a mob, Buffy locks three of the potentials in a crypt with a vampire (Potential 7.12). Buffy doesn't coddle the potentials, or kiss their wounds better.
Conclusion
Darla is hardly a paragon of motherhood. After all, she really is evil (well, most of the time). But Joyce, for all her love and compassion choose to protect her children from the world they live in, rather than try and prepare them for it. Just as Dawn thrives when Buffy is no longer looking, so Buffy thrives (eventually) when she steps up and takes the role of adult instead of being dependent on her mother or Giles.
When the final fight comes, Buffy asks the potentials, "Are you ready to be strong?" Time and again Joyce's answer to that question is 'no'. But Buffy and Darla know that in the dangerous world of the buffyverse, children have to learn to stand on their own, and the day comes when you have to kick all the chicks out of the nest to find out whether or not they can fly.
References:
Most of the dialogue quoted came from buffyworld.com.
The Gate History of the Aurelian Vampires was another invaluable resource especially when looking at the history of the Fanged Four.
buffyversemeta. Please let me know what you think, even (actually especially) if you disagree. I know that some of the ways I have chosen to interpret the show are just that, interpretations, and I'd love to know what people thing about them.At first glance, Darla and Joyce might seem to be two characters with almost nothing in common. Joyce is a modern woman, a single mother, a small business owner, and a kind compassionate woman. Darla, on the other hand, comes from a world when women gain power through men. She is selfish, cruel, and usually evil. But they are both mothers, and the similarities go deeper than the fact that they both were pregnant at some point.
Both Darla and Joyce choose to have a first child (Angelus and Buffy), are then given a second mystical child (Connor and Dawn) and die soon after. Furthermore they are both the mother's of champions, and that causes problems for both of them. When Joyce finally learns that Buffy is the Slayer, a fight ensues and Joyce tells Buffy that she must either stay in her mothers house, or if she leaves she shouldn't come back (Becoming Part 2 2.22). When Darla discovers that Angelus has been cursed with a soul, they also fight. At first Darla throws Angel out. When he finds her in China, she gives him a second chance, but then ends up giving him an ultimatum. Kill a baby, or leave for good (Darla 2.07)
But Darla is hardly the demonic version of Joyce (or vice a versa). They both deal with the challenges of motherhood in different ways. Darla encourages her children to be independent, to stand on their own feet, and to fight back even if it looks like they are going to loose. Joyce on the other hand is very protective. She tries to create a safe, protected space for her daughters and discourages independence.
Joyce as Mother
In the first three seasons of BtVS Joyce tends to appear onscreen only when she is directly effecting Buffy's life in a parental way. Even the episodes Ted (2.11) and Band Candy (3.06) are about what happens when Joyce strays from her role as mother. We see virtually nothing of Joyce in Season 4, only to have her reappear strongly in the first half of Season 5. Of course in retrospect, we realize that every one of Joyce's appearances in Season 5 is basically a set up for her death, and is there to establish the hole in Buffy's life that being motherless will create.
When talking about human mother's in BtVS and AtS it is important to note that there is a huge subsection of human mothers who are simply absent from their children's life, or so eclipsed by their husbands as to not be important. Xander, Willow, and Cordelia's mothers fall into the first category. Angel, Wesley, and Giles' mothers fall into the second.
And fundamentally Joyce is a good mother. She loves her daughter, and she only wants what is best for Buffy. However, Joyce doesn't seem to be equipped to handle the 'real world' in the buffyverse, which her daughter is very much a part of. And despite all of her good qualities, much of what Joyce does is not to her daughter's benefit.
In the first two seasons Joyce rarely has any advice for Buffy beyond, stay out of trouble. She does suggest at one point that Buffy join the yearbook staff (The Witch 1.03), she also encourages Buffy to go to the dance in Prophecy Girl (1.12) even though Buffy doesn't have a date. But Joyce spends most of her time worrying about whatever trouble Buffy might get into. So much so, that on Buffy's seventeenth birthday Buffy is still asking for permission to get a driver's license. And she even in season 3 Buffy still can't drive, as we see in Band Candy (3.06). This isn't a trivial thing. Although Buffy can clearly get around Sunnydale all right on foot, getting your driver's license is one of the few rights of passage left in mainstream American society.
Of course in the first two seasons, Joyce is unaware of what is really going on in Buffy's life, and why Buffy keeps getting into trouble. But once she does learn that her daughter has a sacred duty, and that she has saved the world on more than one occasion, it does little to comfort Joyce.
Joyce spends the first part of season 3 punishing her daughter and restricting her freedoms because Buffy ran away. But Buffy left home because Joyce told her that she couldn't come back (even though of course Joyce didn't mean it). By the time Buffy returns home Joyce has had plenty of time to understand her daughter's duties as the slayer, and to understand that Buffy had to leave the house that night. And we must assume that at some point Buffy told her mother about her life in LA as Anne. Although Buffy was wrong to leave Sunnydale, having made that one bad decisions, Buffy does very well for herself. Her mother should at least be comforted by the fact that Buffy was able to take care of herself under less than ideal circumstances (the way she says she is at the end of School Hard (2.03). Instead Joyce responds to her daughters ability to act as an adult, by treating her more like a child, and restricting what Buffy can and can't do.
And Joyce has reason to fear Buffy's independence. In Normal Again (6.17) we finally hear Joyce acknowledge Buffy's strength, "You've got a world of strength in your heart. I know you do. You just have to find it again. Believe in yourself." Buffy does, and the result is that she leaves her parents behind. Instead of relying on them to take care of her in the world of the asylum, she returns to the world we know and tries to take her place as an adult.
Similarly, the few times we see Joyce in season 4, it is clear that Buffy has left her mother behind, and that Joyce wants her daughter to return home, at least from time to time. In Season 5, Joyce seems to have let go of Buffy and become comfortable with her daughter's independence. But we must remember that Buffy is no longer an only child. Joyce now has Dawn, and Dawn is happy being the baby of the family and being reliant on her mother.
That Joyce cares very deeply about what happens to her daughters and is involved in their lives is a good thing. But not only does Joyce try and get Buffy to rely on her, she also tries to break Buffy's ties with other strong adult figures, especially men.
Joyce does this from the very beginning of the series with her choice to move Buffy to Sunnydale and away from her father. In The Witch (1.03) Joyce reminds Buffy, "Your own thing, whatever it is, got you kicked out of school, and we had to move here to find a decent school that would take you!" Think about this statement for a minute. Not only does Joyce lay the burden of their move to Sunnydale on Buffy's shoulders, but it's probably not true.
We know that Buffy and Joyce moved from LA, one of the biggest metropolises in the world. Are we really expected to believe that in the entire city there wasn't one school that would take Buffy? Obviously Joyce wants Buffy to go to a good school, but there are a lot of good schools in LA. And even if they couldn't get her into a good public school for some reason, private school is not beyond the reach of the Summers'. In Dead Man's Party (3.02) Joyce mentions the possibility of private school for Buffy if she can't get back into Sunnydale High. And this is in Season 3, where it seems rather safe to assume that Joyce would be footing the bill herself without any help from Hank. In Season 1 Hank and Buffy's relationship is still pretty close, so it seems reasonable to assume that he would have helped pay for the tuition to keep his daughter in a good school and in LA.
So why did Joyce decide to uproot her daughter and move to Sunnydale? Probably because Joyce, recently divorced wants to start a new life. It's not clear what Joyce did in LA, if she had a job or if she was a housewife, but even if she did have a job, it must not have been very fulfilling. We never hear Joyce talk about the life or friends she left behind. Instead Joyce mostly talks about her new gallery. Whatever Joyce did before the divorce, she obviously came away from it with some money. Enough to buy a house and a start a business in Sunnydale, something she probably could not do in LA, because LA is very expensive, whereas we know that the property values in Sunnydale are rather low.
And if her decision to move to Sunnydale was really about what was best for Buffy, why doesn't she suggest moving at the beginning of Season 3? Not only has Buffy been kicked out of school once again, but Joyce is now aware that the 'safe' little suburban town of Sunnydale is in fact one of the most dangerous places a person could choose to live. And this clearly concerns Joyce, because she encourages Buffy to choose a college as far away from Sunnydale as possible. But once Joyce has established her life in Sunnydale, she doesn't want to leave it, so she never suggests moving to ensure her daughters safety, and she fights to get Buffy back into Sunnydale High.
So Joyce ends up separating Buffy from her father in LA, and does very little to help keep their relationship together. Admittedly, if Hank were a good father, he would have continued to be part of Buffy, and later Dawn's life despite the distance to Sunnydale. But we have to wonder what Joyce expected to happen when she moved her daughter away from LA. After all Joyce has known Hank for at least sixteen years. Although she may never have consciously thought about it, she should have realized on some level that Hank was a good father when it was convenient for him to be one.
And Joyce makes it very inconvenient. Not only does she move Buffy several hours away, but we never hear of Joyce offering to take Buffy to LA to see her father, he is always expected to be the one to make the trip, and remember she prevents Buffy from getting her drivers license, and thus makes it harder for Buffy to visit her father.
And Hank isn't the only man Joyce wants out of Buffy's life. In Anne (3.01) Joyce clearly voices her displeasure with Giles' role in Buffy's life, "You've been this huge influence on her, guiding her. You had this whole relationship with her behind my back. I feel like you've taken her away from me." Joyce has very little power to drive Giles out of Buffy's life, but at this point it is clear that she wants him gone. Joyce's attitude about Giles doesn't seem to change until she realizes that he can be a potential ally in keeping her daughter dependent on her, and they begin planning out the minutia of Buffy's life together.
Joyce is also very clear about her opinions of Angel, and her talk with him in The Prom (3.20) clearly helps push him towards the decision to leave Buffy and Sunnydale. Similarly, when she discovers that Spike is in love with Buffy, she advises Buffy to make it clear to him right away that she isn't interested, despite the fact that Joyce herself rather likes Spike's company.
In fact the only two men that Joyce doesn't seem to disapprove of are Xander and Riley. But neither of them exert much influence over Buffy. Although Buffy often hides things from both men when she thinks they won't approve, neither of them hold much sway in her life, and so aren't 'threats' to Joyce's influence over Buffy or Buffy's dependance on her mother.
Darla as Mother
Unlike Joyce, Darla doesn't really seem like the motherly type. However, a closer look shows that she not only is Connor's mother, but acts very much like a mother to Angelus in his early years, and also to Spike and Dru.
Despite the fact that Darla calls Angel(us) her 'dear boy', at first glance their relationship seems to be more one of lovers than one of parent child. In fact these two relationships exist side by side. However, as we shall see, Angelus' fledgling years seem to stretch from his turning in 1753 until about 1767 where they meet up with two other vampires named James and Elizabeth. It is during this period that Darla's actions are the most motherly, and after this time, that Angelus 'grows up' and becomes more her equal and less her child.
From the first moment Angelus rises from the grave, Darla is there to guide him in his new unlife. This is rather significant, as vampires are rarely so caring of their young. Countless vampires are left to rise alone. Of course their sires may simply decided not to stay and watch when they see that the Slayer has a fresh grave staked out, but there seems to be other evidence that vampires often leave new fledglings to make it on their own. The vampire Darla tries to get to sire her in The Trial (2.09) doesn't seem to ever have met his Sire. And in Potential (7.12) Buffy brings the junior slayers to a vampire nest, where a fledgling has been left to rise all on his own.
As for Darla and Angelus, she is there not only to watch him rise, but also to guide him through his first kill. Then after Angelus has killed his family, Darla is there to wisely point out that Angelus will never be over his issues with his father. She ends by saying, "Darling boy. So young. Still so very young." (The Prodigal 1.15) And then when she brings Angelus before the Master she is brimming with praise for her Childe. She might as well have a bumper sticker that reads "My child ate the honor roll."
Angelus and Darla spend the next decade or so living it up and hiding from vampire hunters like Holtz. Three significant things happen in this time frame: Darla hits Angelus over the head with a shovel and leaves him to die in a barn, they meet a couple vampires named James and Elizabeth, and Angelus is captured by Holtz and the rescued by Darla.
The shovel incident at first glance seems to be nothing but a selfish act by Darla and not very mother like. But when viewed in the context of what came before and what comes after, it can be seen as a pivotal moment in Angelus' growing up. Before this moment Darla has coddled Angelus. She was there to hold his hand through his first night of unlife. And by leaving with him instead of staying in The Master's court, she also protected him from the consequences of his insolence. We should not assume that The Master's threats towards Angelus were idle. In Angel (1.07) he has Darla execute three of his best warriors when they fail to kill Buffy in one try. And in Teacher's Pet (1.04) we learn that he had another powerful vampire cut off his hand in penance for something.
And Darla's act is not one of cowardice (even though it is one of self preservation). A few years later she not only rescues Angelus from Holtz, but does it in a rather daring daytime rescue, clearly putting herself in jeopardy. And whereas in the barn they were only threatened by a mob of rowdy villagers with torches, Angelus' capture happens in Rome, and he's being held by some group of rogue inquisitors. This is at least as dangerous if not a more dangerous situation than the one in the barn, and one that Darla could have simply avoided all together if she chose (Offspring 3.07)
So why does she abandon Angelus in the barn and not in Rome? Perhaps because Darla still has an important lesson to teach Angelus; don't give up. Right before she hits him on the head with the shovel Angelus says, "We'll not make it easy for 'em, I can tell you that. They're men - mortals. Between the two of us we can go out with a reputation. Even death with the right companion..." (The Trial 2.09) Angelus is clearly thinking as a mortal and not as a vampire. For a mortal who knows that one day no matter what they will die, there is potential something to be gained by a 'good death'. But vampires can potentially live forever.
It is still true that Darla's act is selfish, but we have to remember that she is a vampire, and it is her job not to raise Angelus according to human standards, but according to vampiric ones. And it is also important to note that she really does mean it when she hopes that Angelus will live through this. If she didn't want him too, she could have just as easily staked him with the handle of the shovel as hit him over the head with the other end. Arguably she doesn't do this, because Angelus will provide a distraction to give her more time to get away, but this same argument could be used the other way. Since the mob is clearly close by, they would most likely see her riding off, and some portion of the mob would follow her. This may have been what gave Angelus the chance he needed to escape.
And Angelus doesn't hold it against her. In fact he respects the lesson. A few years later when we see them with James and Elizabeth they both brag about the event. But more importantly, Angelus acts like an older vampire counseling the two (supposedly) younger vampires on the ways of life and love (Heartthrob 3.01). From this point on Darla rarely treats Angelus like a child but instead as her equal and consort. His escape from the barn acts as a sort of coming of age. From this point on, Angelus position is nearly equal to Darla's.
And so later, when Angelus decides to turn a certain crazy nun into a vampire, Darla takes on the role of mother again. Not only does she humor Angelus when he wants to turn Drusilla, but she also humors Dru when Dru longs for a childe of her own, even though Darla thinks that Dru might "Take the first drooling idiot that comes along."(Darla 2.07)
But let's skip over Darla and Dru for the time being, and look at Darla and Spike. We have very few scenes of the two of them, but a close look at these few scenes shows clear signs of affections between them.
First there is mine in Yorkshire. This scene starts off with Angelus choking and threatening Spike because something he has done nearly got them all killed. Contrast this to Darla's behavior, not only does she not respond to Spike with threats or violence, but she takes the time to make sure Spike understands which of his behavior is unacceptable. "Look, we barely got out of London alive because of you. Everywhere we go, it's the same story." (Fool for Love 5.07). Sure she's exasperated and upset, but Spike has put all their lives in danger. Darla and Angelus work together here as parents to try and discipline Spike.
And then something really interesting happens. As the tension between Spike and Angelus grows, Darla turns to Dru and says, "I think our boys are going to fight," (Fool for Love 5.07). The idea clearly excites her, but more is going on here than just Darla showing her kink for violence. Darla is in fact showing approval of Spike's refusal to back down.
In this situation only Spike (and not Angelus) has the power to start a fight. Angelus can push Spike all he wants, but Spike as the lowest status member of the family has the option of backing down. At this point he has so little status in the family that he can't loose any. Angelus on the other hand, has no choice but to respond to any aggressive actions of Spike with equal if not grater force, because he has all the status and therefore has a great deal to loose by back down.
And not only does Darla encourage independence in Spike, she does so at a point when she likely has very little emotional attachment to him. The mine scene takes place in 1880, the same year that Spike was turned, and as we learn in Destiny (5.08) Darla was not present for Spike's earliest days as a vampire. In theory all of her loyalty should lie with Angelus, and yet there she is encouraging Spike to stand up to him, and making it much harder for Angelus to discipline him.
The fact that she does this seems to reinforce the motherly role she plays among the Fanged Four. Although she is clearly concerned with whatever it is that Spike's been doing to drive them first out of London and then into a mine shaft, she is also concerned with Spike's overall upbringing. If she wanted Spike to simply fall in line and do as she and Angelus said as if he were a minion, she would join Angelus in the disciplining of Spike. Instead she takes the view that in the long run it is advantageous for a vampire not to give up, even when the odds are clearly stacked against them (this is in effect the same lesson she gave to Angelus in the barn).
And by the time we get to Rome, the Immortal, and The Girl in Question (5.20), Spike and Darla seem to get along rather well. As
peasant_ explains in her essay The Obstructed View - Spike and Darla's Hidden Relationship:Far more revealing is Spike’s reaction in The Girl in Question.
A bedroom. Angelus is looking down at Darla, who’s sprawled out naked, face-down on the bed, her hair all disheveled.
Angelus Darla!
Spike What have they done to her?
(AtS 5.20 The Girl in Question)
Now this sounds like genuine concern. Bear in mind that this scene is set in 1894 so Spike and Darla have had time to settle down in their relationship to one another, and it seems clear from this that he is not at all happy with the impression that she is hurt. (. . .) As a side note though it is worth remarking that the remark "Concurrently? You never let us do that." in The Girl in Question implies that Spike and Darla may sleep together as part of normal family interactions.
But of course, Angelus remains the center of Darla's life. Which is why it is again telling that when she looses him, and her world is turned out upside down, she doesn't take it all out on Spike. After Angelus is souled, Darla takes the remains of her family to the gypsy camp in order to try and force the gypsies to undo their curse. She makes the mistake however, of not telling Spike and Dru why they are there, and who needs to be spared, and Spike kills the gypsies that she needs alive. Considering the way she tossed Angelus out into the street when he was cursed, we might expect her to loose her temper at Spike and take out her rage and frustration on him, but she doesn't. She accepts that it isn't his fault, and even tells him and Dru to go on and kill the rest of the camp (Darla 2.07)
And why didn't she tell Spike and Drusilla about what happened to Angelus? As a mother she keeps this information to herself to protect all of her children. She protects Angelus by keeping the secret of his curse, presumably both to save him from embarrassment if she can fix it, but also potentially to protect him from other vampires. Both in Romania and later in China, Darla's admits that she should (or at least thinks she should) stake Angel. And Angel is clearly very vulnerable at this stage, and it is unclear if he would try and defend himself. Making his condition known could be very dangerous for him.
But she's also protecting Spike and Dru. It is not uncommon for parents to lie and coverup a disease in the family to keep from scaring children, and this is more or less what Darla does. We know from Destiny (5.08) that from time to time Darla and Angelus fight and separate, and we can presume that this is the excuse she uses to explain Angelus' absence, and his later reappearance in China.
As for Drusilla, the clearest example of the mother daughter relationship between the two of them comes after Drusilla sires Darla, and Darla becomes a vampire for the second time. Darla's first reaction to Drusilla is to attack her. Darla didn't want to be turned, and clearly feels that Drusilla had no right to take this decision from her. But once a tearful Dru explains that she only did it because she thought it was best for Darla, Darla forgives her. Darla puts her arms around the sobbing vampire, and comforts her (Reunion 2.10). And this is the only time we see the two female vampires fight. Although Darla has little interest in Drusilla's ramblings, she endures them rather patiently, even if she does roll her eyes from time to time.
We see Darla comforting Dru again in the next episode, Redefinition (2.11), when Angel sets the two of them on fire. Once the two vampires have extinguished themselves, it is Darla who puts her arm around Drusilla and tries to comfort her.
And it seems likely that Darla has encouraged in Drusilla the same independence that she encourages in Angelus and Spike. Despite the fact that Dru is mad as a loon, she is quite capable of taking care of herself. She obviously managed to do it during some part of World War II, since we know that Spike found himself on a submarine, without her. Presumably she was left in Spain, while he had to try and make his way back from America in the middle of the war (Why We Fight 5.13). She also does just fine on her own after she dumps Spike, and before Wolfram & Hart bring her to LA. And we have no reason to think that Drusilla isn't still out their somewhere as the dragons descend on LA in Not Fade Away(5.22). And of course the threat of her regaining her full power is enough that a second slayer is sent to Sunnydale to stop it (What's My Line Part 1 2.09).
And it seems likely that it was Darla who taught her to take care of herself. Angelus seems to like Drusilla best when she is subservient to him. Of course from the time Drusilla becomes a vampire, until Spike joins the family, we have no examples of Angelus and Dru together. It may be that pre-Spike their relationship was much different. However, it seems that once he has driven her crazy, Dru is only interesting to Angelus when she can be used to torture Spike. The scene in Destiny (5.08), where Angelus arranges for Spike to catch him sleeping with Dru, seems to suggest that Angelus hasn't bothered to have sex with Drusilla since William was turned. And in fact Drusilla, complains that she is all alone, and that Angelus mostly pays attention to Darla on the night when she decides to turn William. And Spike clearly enjoys taking care of Drusilla, so it is likely that it was Darla who was responsible for most of Drusilla's training.
And by the time we get to Season 2 of Angel, Darla clearly allows Dru a fair amount of freedom. The circumstances under which Drusilla leaves LA aren't clear, but she there's no reason to think that Darla told her to leave. Drusilla seems to want Spike to come back to LA with her in Crush (5.14), but if she was expected to return to LA, Darla never seems worried or upset that Drusilla hasn't come back. So even though Darla returns to her role as mother when Dru is hurt, she clearly views Drusilla as having grown up and being capable of taking care of herself.
There is one final thing to note about Darla's relationship with Dru. Darla never seems to be jealous of Drusilla's relationships with men, even when they are with the very same men Darla is involved with. When Dru complains that Angelus spends to much time with Angelus, Darla's response is "All you have to do is ask," (Darla 2.07) and Darla is quite willing to share her one night stand with the Immortal with Drusilla.
Finally there is Connor. He is a difficult case to deal with, because the only time we see the two of them together, Darla (if it is really her) is some sort of ghost, and seems very much changed from the Darla we have come to know. Still, the language that Darla uses to plead with Connor is telling, "You have a choice, Connor. That is something more precious then you'll ever know," and "Why? (gestures to Cordelia in the next room) Because she told you? There are things happening, Connor, things that I can't— (sigh) It has to be your choice. You can stop this," (Inside Out 4.17).
Darla emphasizes that Connor is independent. That choices are his, and that he shouldn't do what Cordelia says just because Cordelia assures him that it is for the best. Clearly Darla wants him to choose not to kill the girl, but she emphasizes that his decision should be based on what he thinks is right, and not who he wants to please.
The Other Mothers of the Buffyverse
The patterns of motherhood that Darla and Joyce embody aren't limited to them. We can see that this pattern plays out in other mothers both human and demonic. It becomes especially clear in the two cases where we have a woman who is both a human and a demonic mother.
The first of these cases in Anne, Spike's mother. William is clearly a mom's boy. He seems to have lived his entire life in a very sheltered world created by his mother. So much so that he is unable to relate to his peers, and not just his male peers. Not only does Cecily look down on William, but we see William refuse to be part of a conversation about a recent series of murders. Although she never says anything, there is a young lady standing there in this conversation, and unlike William she seems to find the conversation interesting (Fool For Love 5.07).
Admittedly Anne does seem to encourage William to look for a wife, but it seems clear that even if he got married William would not leave his mother's house. He tells her, "I still have hopes that one day there will be an addition to this household," (Lies My Parent's Told Me 7.17).
But then William becomes a vampire, and is so tied to his mother that one of the first things he does is return home to turn his mother so that she can spend eternity with him and Drusilla. But becoming a vampire gives Anne a new view on the world and her son. She tells William, "I feel extraordinary. It's as though I've been given new eyes. I see everything. Understand... (looks at William, frowns) everything." And what does she do with her new vision? "I hate to be cruel— No, I don't. I used to hate to be cruel in life. Now, I find it rather freeing. Nothing less will pry your greedy little fingers off my apron strings, will it?"
And Anne is very cruel to William. But there is no reason to think she would have been so cruel to him if he wasn't trying to remain dependent on her. When she first rises she says, "I suppose I have you to thank for that, don't I? How ever will I repay you?" She starts off being grateful, it is only when she see that however much she has changed, her son hasn't, that she begins to berate him and try and drive him away. And there's no reason to think that Anne is really interested in sleeping with William (although as a vampire the taboo nature of incest may turn her on) she's trying to make a point. It's time for William to leave the nest and go out into the world on his own. Finally she attacks William with her cane, and tries to drive him out.
The second case of a character who is both a human and demonic mother is Buffy herself. After Joyce's death, Buffy takes on the role of mother to Dawn. Although Buffy isn't as good as being a mother as Joyce was, she actually mimics her mother's behaviors. Buffy's first priority is to protect Dawn. Admittedly in Season 5 Dawn is in a great deal of danger, but Buffy becomes oppressive with her overprotectiveness. She needs to know where Dawn is at all times, much the way her mother and Giles scheduled her own time in Season 3.
In Season 6, when the threat of Glory has passed, Buffy relaxes her overprotectiveness some, however she continues to hide things from Dawn for her 'own good'. Moreover, she doesn't allow Dawn to become an independent part of the Scoobies. When she discovers Dawn doing research Buffy says, "You do research now? Want a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with it?" (Flooded 6.04). It isn't until the end of the season when everything has gone to hell, that Dawn finally gets Buffy to begin to treat her as an adult.
This victory is short lived however. Yes Season 7 begins with Buffy training Dawn to fight vampires, but it doesn't take long for Buffy to jump at the chance to work in Dawn's school so she can keep an eye on her sister more of the time. And it is once Buffy becomes too involved with the potentials to keep Dawn under her thumb, that we really see Dawn blossom and take her place among the Scoobies.
As Season 7 progresses Buffy takes on new responsibilities as a mother. This time a demonic one. It might seem at first odd to call the slayer a demon, but as we learn more about the history of the slayer line in Season 7, it seems to be more appropriate. As we see in Get It Done (7.15), the First Slayer was created when the Shadow Men basically raped a young girl with the essence of a demon. A vampire passes on their legacy by killing, a slayer passes on hers by dying. And as Giles gathers the remaining potential slayers in Sunnydale, Buffy becomes their mother.
Of course, mother isn't the word that Buffy uses. She calls herself a general. But military units are very family like, with the senior officer standing in the place of the parent. And although Buffy tries to distance herself from the potentials, she obviously cares a great deal about them, even when she can't remember all their names. After all, like all children, they are younger versions of herself.
And like Darla, Buffy knows that these girls must learn to stand on their own and fight no matter what. Just as Darla leaves Angelus in the barn to deal with a mob, Buffy locks three of the potentials in a crypt with a vampire (Potential 7.12). Buffy doesn't coddle the potentials, or kiss their wounds better.
Conclusion
Darla is hardly a paragon of motherhood. After all, she really is evil (well, most of the time). But Joyce, for all her love and compassion choose to protect her children from the world they live in, rather than try and prepare them for it. Just as Dawn thrives when Buffy is no longer looking, so Buffy thrives (eventually) when she steps up and takes the role of adult instead of being dependent on her mother or Giles.
When the final fight comes, Buffy asks the potentials, "Are you ready to be strong?" Time and again Joyce's answer to that question is 'no'. But Buffy and Darla know that in the dangerous world of the buffyverse, children have to learn to stand on their own, and the day comes when you have to kick all the chicks out of the nest to find out whether or not they can fly.
References:
Most of the dialogue quoted came from buffyworld.com.
The Gate History of the Aurelian Vampires was another invaluable resource especially when looking at the history of the Fanged Four.
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Date: 2007-07-05 09:54 pm (UTC)I really enjoyed your essay.
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Date: 2007-07-05 11:55 pm (UTC)I always thought the antagonism was between Angelus and Spike....and even them mostly when Angelus was twarted.
I'd agree with that, although I'd add when Angelus was bored too. I have a feeling that a bored Angelus is a dangerous Angelus, possibly the reason that Darla tries so hard to keep him entertained.
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Date: 2007-07-06 12:01 am (UTC)Little bit about Joyce: Maybe the reason she doesn't disapprove of Xander and Riley is that they are Buffy's age, so she sees them as children. She only views adult males as a threat.
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Date: 2007-07-06 12:13 am (UTC)And the notion about Joyce is interesting. I hadn't though of it that way, I supposed because I tend to think of Riley as being several years older than Buffy. However, from Joyce's point of view, and in comparison to Hank, Giles, Angel, and Spike he is basically her own age.
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Date: 2007-07-06 02:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 03:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 03:56 pm (UTC)I really should stop getting distracted and write some Darla fic, shouldn't I? But it's so much fun making other people do it!no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 06:20 am (UTC)Darla is certainly all about encouraging independence but it’s arguable whether that’s done with her family’s best interest at heart or her own convenience. I do think her killing herself so Connor can be born is interesting in that that respect, is it giving up her own life for someone else’s (the thing Buffy complains of with respect to Dawn in Tough Love) or the ultimate act of encouraging independence or both?
Lastly if we go with the idea that demon mothers are better at letting their children go, one reason might be that they never have to deal with them as helpless infants. In that respect Spike’s mother is a particularly interesting figure being both a demon and having nursed him through childhood. I’ve always interpreted her actions towards him as springing from her own suppressed resentments as a human rather than being for his own good as a demon. Both Spike and Wood seem to have the emotional intelligence of four year old boys in that episode, unable to understand that their mothers may still love them completely while not being their whole worlds.
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Date: 2007-07-06 04:00 pm (UTC)You're right that Buffy does want to be coddled more in Season 5, but there's two things to consider. First of all Dawn has changed the family dynamic, and Buffy is obviously jealous of Dawn's position as the baby. Secondly, the fact that Buffy wants to be coddled doesn't mean that it's good for her. Although you can argue with Giles' decision in Season 6 to leave, he clearly thinks that Buffy has become too dependent.
She didn’t arrange her life to make it as easy as possible for Hank to keep in touch after their marriage broke down (apparently due to him cheating on her)
But she did arrange it to make it more difficult. Moving to Sunnydale was clearly Joyce's choice, and clearly makes it more difficult for Hank to maintain his relationship with Buffy. Of course Hank is still a bad father, and that isn't Joyce's fault.
Darla is certainly all about encouraging independence but it’s arguable whether that’s done with her family’s best interest at heart or her own convenience.
I think it's more than Darla's convenience, because in many ways it would be more convenient to have vampires who did what she and Angelus said without question, but Dru and Spike are clearly not treated like minions. Obviously the world is a dangerous place, even for vampires. We often see the Fanged Four running afoul of various powers both human and supernatural, and having a group of strong individuals who can all protect themselves is in the best interests of everyone.
Lastly if we go with the idea that demon mothers are better at letting their children go, one reason might be that they never have to deal with them as helpless infants.
This is definitely true. One of the constant themes in the buffyverse is created family versus natural family. Generally the created families (to which vampire families belong) have the advantages of being formed by people who meet as teenagers or adults. For most of Buffy's life she has been a child who needed a mother who told her what to do and was a protector.
As for Anne I’ve always interpreted her actions towards him as springing from her own suppressed resentments as a human rather than being for his own good as a demon.
Certainly that is what she says is happening, but I'm not sure if Anne really found her son as trying as her vampire self says. I'm sure she is now aware of freedoms that she wouldn't allow herself in her human life, and she's eager to explore those. That doesn't mean that vampire Anne is really looking out for William's best interests, but clearly she wants him to be more independent if only so he'll leave her alone.
Both Spike and Wood seem to have the emotional intelligence of four year old boys in that episode, unable to understand that their mothers may still love them completely while not being their whole worlds.
lol very true.
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Date: 2007-07-06 01:46 pm (UTC)That being said, thank you again for your thought provoking essay that I really liked to read.
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Date: 2007-07-06 04:11 pm (UTC)As for Darla, I tend to see the vampires as a very close family unit even though they aren't exactly warm fuzzy people. I think they fit into the overall theme of created families that we see over and over in the buffyverse. Very few of the characters have positive relationships with their actual blood relatives. The families they rely on are the families they have created for themselves. And I do think that Darla is very motherly to Dru the two times we see her comfort Dru. But that's my view of vampire families, and obviously the cannon could be interpreted either way.
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Date: 2007-07-06 02:17 pm (UTC)and I don't doubt that Darla would eat you for emphasizing her motherly role in the fanged four, but you make a very convincing argument that *she* was the one that shaped all 3 of them, encouraging them to be independent and making them strong. that whole bit blew me away. great conclusions.
and also:
She might as well have a bumper sticker that reads "My child ate the honor roll."
hee!
enjoyable, thought-provoking read. thanks for writing it :)
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Date: 2007-07-06 04:17 pm (UTC)You make a very convincing argument that *she* was the one that shaped all 3 of them, encouraging them to be independent and making them strong. that whole bit blew me away. great conclusions.
Thanks again. Obviously Angelus taught Spike a lot about hunting, killing, and probably torture, but both Angel and Angelus like it when people fall in line and do as they're told. Of course obviously there is enough strength in Spike that he was able to keep defying Angelus over the years.
And I'm glad you liked my Darla bumper sticker.
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Date: 2007-07-06 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 04:24 pm (UTC)I think that's one of those ideas that the more you think about it, the more you realize how true it is. I remember arguing with you about part of it, but I think you're right they really are a rebellious lot.
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Date: 2007-07-06 04:28 pm (UTC)I'm a silly little thing.
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Date: 2007-07-06 10:51 pm (UTC)And I definitely understand wanting to brush it up. I could have easily spent another couple weeks if not longer brushing up my essay.
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Date: 2007-07-06 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-06 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-09 03:19 pm (UTC)We were conditioned to view Joyce as "the good mother" particularly in contrast to Willow's absentee parents and Xander's (at best) indifferent parents. But this casts a different light on things. I hadn't ever stopped to think about how Joyce was actually portrayed in her scenes - just how she contrasted with the other parental figures. Scenes that portrayed her otherwise tend to be forgotten or brushed aside in favor of this image of Joyce as the sainted mother-figure. But your assessment of her is right. You're absolutely right.
As for Darla... fanon has had such a huge impact on how we (or at least I) viewed the character. For example, the idea that Spike-and-Darla-hated-each-other-bitterly-and-always-over-who-got-to-have-Angelus. When you actually look at the evidence, it doesn't hold up. Interesting.
Thank you for making me stop and think! I love that there are so many nuances to the buffyverse. *g*
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Date: 2007-07-10 04:18 am (UTC)As for Darla, in fanon she does tend to end up holding the short end of the stick. The interesting thing is that Darla is almost never jealous of anyone. She doesn't even get jealous of Buffy until Angel tells her that she can't give him a moment of perfect happiness. Up until then, she regards Buffy as a phase he was going through. And I think that only bothers her because she doesn't get the happiness thing, and thinks it means that Buffy was better in the sack than she is.
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Date: 2007-07-12 06:39 pm (UTC)professional pride, y'know. ;-)
*g*
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Date: 2007-07-09 06:27 pm (UTC)I'm with
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Date: 2007-07-10 04:30 am (UTC)Thanks. Certainly there's a lot going on in that scene. I mean let's face it, part of Darla's decision is selfish. I think that even at this point though Darla is very invested in Angelus, if for no other reason than without him she has to return to The Master, and she obviously prefers her life with Angelus. (Of course she really doesn't have to return to The Master, but Darla obviously feels that she needs a strong man around.)
As for Joyce, if the Buffyverse were the real world than Joyce wouldn't be too controlling, but I think Joyce does have the problem of being a mother in a world where teenagers have the responsibility of saving the world on a fairly regular basis. And none of Joyce's parenting books could have prepared her for that.