Here's to Getting Lost

[icemink]

So I'm having another one of those, what should I do with my life crises. Actually, this time the crisis is that I think I know what I want to do for the short term.


Back in April I thought of moving to L.A. cause I just really need to move somewhere. Why L.A. I don't know. Although I have been thinking of applying to UCLA. But then one day I was painting the set for a production of Macbeth I was in, and for the first time in my life I realized I had a skill. (Okay, yeah, I know I have several, but most of them are not the sort that you could use in a job.) I've been doing stagecraft forever. It occurred to me that if I did move to L.A. I could probably get a job as a stagehand.

But then I started acting like the "smart together" person I supposedly am, and thought, 'No, I should apply to Grad school, and to do that properly I should stay in Colorado another year and apply to several schools, then decide where to move based on who accepts me.'

So I gave up on L.A. But I've been kind of sad ever since. The job market here is kind of depressing. There's really nothing that fits me, or that wouldn't drive me insane. That stagehand things just keeps looking better and better.

More than that though, I feel that I'd just be marking time if I stayed here. Putting off restarting my life. It's a depressing thought, and there's really nothing keeping me here. So I'm looking at L.A. again.

The only problem is, I sort of have to move in August, which is not that far away. Tomorrow I'm going to start looking at quotes from movers again (I have furniture that I love. Why oh why must I own furniture that I love?)

I'm a little scared. To be honest that's part of why I gave up on the idea in the first place. But I need to stop planning my life for the next five years, and just start living it. I don't have a plan, or a road-map, or any real idea of where I'm headed. So here's to getting lost.

Comments

[alwaysjbj.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you have some big decisions to make... which is very exciting and rather terrifying at the same time!
Wishing you all the best... just remember... only YOU know what is right for you!!!

[icemink.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Yeah, I am excited. And the terror, well it's mostly my fear of putting things in boxes.

[megan-peta.livejournal.com]

Planning for a creative person saps you of energy and inspiration. I say go with your gut, and if youa re sad about not going to LA, then obviously you are meant to go to LA. Moving to Sydney was the ebst thing I ever did. I wish i had stayed there.

[icemink.livejournal.com]

I never thought of it that way. What I do know, is that I don't really know what I want to do, so it's time to stop planning as if I did, and just left stuff happen. Of course, this means the next couple months are going to be stressful. But stress I can survive, it's better than feeling that your not doing anything.

[cordykitten]

I don't know if that's helping... but did you make a pro and contra list?
But whatever you'll find out - hear what your gut-feeling says!

[meli1-77.livejournal.com]

I wish you the best on what ever decision you decide on.

*HUGS*