icemink: (Spock)
[personal profile] icemink
Title: Someday, and the Rest of Your Life
Author: icemink
Spoilers: This story begins at the very end of Star Trek XI so spoilers for the entire movie.
Paring: Spock/Uhura
Summary: When the Enterprise recives a distress call from a Vulcan resuce vessel, Spock finds himself confronted by his past, and he must choose whether to uphold Vulcan traditions or find his own way.
A/N: As I don’t have yet have a beta for my new Star Trek obsession this work is un-betad.
Rating: PG for most of it, but my stories have a tendency to end up NC-17

“Not even a proper graduation ceremony,” Nyota’s mother complained. “And shouldn’t you have some sort of leave time coming up?”

“Mom,” Nyota, countered gently as she continued to pack up the last of her things from her room at the Academy. “Starfleet needs every ship in the fleet out there right now. We just had the most devastating attack in Federation history. They need us out there patrolling, showing the Romulans and the Klingons that we are still strong.”

“You’re mother’s just worried,” her father said. “I know it’s hard for you to understand, but with everything that’s happened. . . Starfleet seems awfully dangerous these days.”

“I know, I get it, I really, really do,” she insisted. She hadn’t forgotten how she felt when they learned that Nero was heading to Earth to destroy it the way he had destroyed Vulcan. She remembered how helpless she felt as the Enterprise hid behind Titan, waiting her turn, waiting to see if Kirk and Spock would be able to stop the Romulan madman. So when her parents said they were worried, she understood, she knew how close she had been to loosing them. “But this is what I have to do.”

Starfleet had changed for her in the matter of a few days. It was no longer simply and adventure, a way to meet new cultures, to learn new languages. It was a necessity; it was all that stood between Earth and the madness of the universe, a universe where anything could happen.

“I know baby,” her mother said, embracing her. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Before the moment could become too embarrassing, the computer buzzed, indicating someone was at the door.

“Come in,” Nyota said, pulling away from her mother and straightening her uniform.

The doors slid open to reveal Commander Spock. For a moment Nyota’s brain seized, unsure how to deal with her lover and her parents in the same room. Maybe if there had been more time, if things weren’t so rushed, she might have introduced them. A nice dinner or something, but time had not allowed that. Besides, Spock had never visited her in her own room before. They had always met elsewhere, away from the prying eyes and gossiping tongues of the Academy.

“I’m sorry,” he said in his usual cool and efficient manner. “I did not know you had visitors.”

“Commander,” she said, hoping she kept all of her apprehension out of her voice. Spock might not notice, but her parents surely would. “I would like you to meet my father Alhamisi and my mother M’Umbha. Mom, dad, this is Lieutenant Commander Spock. I was his teaching assistant for the last two years.”

“A pleasure,” Spock said, reaching out his hand in the Earth customer to shake her father and mother’s.

“Lieutenant Commander,” Nyota’s mother said as if she was weighing the rank for it’s worthiness. “Perhaps you can tell them they are sending children out there.”

Nyota thought she would die of embarrassment right then and there. It was as if her mother, having been robbed of countless chances to embarrass Nyota for the last four years had managed to do it all once.

“I am afraid I can not do that, Mrs. Uhura,” Spock replied. “Even if I had the rank and power, Lieutenant Uhura is one of the most promising officers I’ve seen. I could not in good conscious rob Starfleet of her abilities.”

“Is there something you needed, Commander?” Nyota asked. She regretted the words immediately. She had promised him anything he needed less than forty-eight hours ago. She had meant it, she just hadn’t expected her parents to be around.

“Only to congratulate you on your commission, say goodbye, and that it has been an honor to serve with you Lieutenant,” he told her as flatly as if he was asking her to grade some papers.

“Goodbye?” she asked. “You mean they didn’t post you to the Enterprise?”

“I am resigning my commission with Starfleet,” he told her. “My duty now lies with my people. With so few of us, we must each do what we can.”

Normally she could read him. Normally she could tell by the tilt of his head, the raise of an eyebrow what he was feeling. He was totally shut down now, and the truth was it didn’t surprise her. He had lost so much, and he loved Starfleet. To feel that duty required him to give that up as well. . . That had to be killing him. But he was Vulcan and determined as always to show none of it.

“I understand, but, Starfleet is going to be the worse for it.” It wasn’t what she wanted to say. She wanted to ask him if he was sure. If this was really what was best for him. She wanted to beg him to stay, and if he wouldn’t, to tell him how much she loved him.

But she couldn’t do any of that, he wouldn’t want any of that, even if her parents hadn’t been standing a few feet away.

“Nyota,” Spock said softly.

His use of her first name surprised her. Then he took two sure steps into the room until he was right in front of her. For just a second she thought he might kiss her. Instead he placed his right hand on her temple and the world just fell away.

She had experienced his telepathic powers before. Being touch telepaths it was impossible for a Vulcan to be physically intimate without also opening up some part of their mind to their partner. But Spock had always shielded her, always kept the touch of his mind and hers light.

It was for her own protection, he had always told her. Such telepathic connections could form a very deep bond, and he was already bound to another, had been since he was seven years old. It would be unfair to Nyota to let her too deeply in, to bind her too closely, when they both knew that someday he would leave her for T’Pring, the Vulcan girl who was his betrothed.

So he had always kept the touch light. But not now. Now his emotions bombarded her. It was as if she stood in a great emptiness, an emptiness she had been meant to fill. She could feel his longing for her, and his love. And likewise she let him in. Let him feel all of it, everything she could give him, anything that might help him in the difficult days to come.

It was then she realized that he wasn’t fully open with her. There was one wall left, something he was trying to keep from her. She didn’t try to push through, she could guess all too well the torrent that was hiding behind the last of his barriers, but just noticing it was enough to create a tiny crack. For just a second Nyota saw a woman standing there, her hand outstretched as the rock fell away beneath her feet.

Then it was done. Broken off suddenly by Spock.

“Goodbye Lieutenant,” he said, and was gone before she could fully get her bearings.

“Oh, mom,” Nyota moaned, grateful that he had gone, so that he couldn’t see the aftermath of what he had shared with her. “I love you so much, I don’t know what I’d do with out you,” she said before she burst into tears.

“Shh, honey, it’s okay,” her mother said confused as she stroked Nyota’s long hair.

But it wasn’t okay, Nyota knew. Not for Spock. And she could only worry that it might never be okay for him again.
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July 2009


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