Why do I feel like the villian?
Apr. 28th, 2006 02:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iceminkSo a while back my cousin suggested I get together with one of the guys she works with. I pretty much said sure, why not, got his number, and then didn't get around to calling him for a really long time. Of course I almost never call anyone, not unless I have to. I hate the phone, it's an evil device. The only good thing about the phone is that it can be used to connect to the internet, and even then only in dire dial-up circumstances.
So we went out for coffee and had a really nice time. I was pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing by the end of Tuesday night, and told him to call me again, although he'd have to wait a couple days cause I work on Wednesday and Thursday.
Wednesday when I got home from work I found a message on my phone from him, asking me if I wanted to go out that afternoon for a hike. I called him back and explained he'd gotten my work schedule backwards. He thought I worked in the evenings on those days. He was really glad to hear that, and he mentioned something about being crushed when I hadn't call back earlier. He asked if I wanted to get together and I explained that it had been a tough day at work and I just wanted to crash, so he said he'd call me again around the same time the next day.
Thursday, he called me right after I got off work, and we agreed to see a movie and order some pizza. When I called it a night he asked if he could call me the next day and I said sure. So we just talked and he wanted to see me again today before I go to work. I told him that I was trying to get some writing done, and maybe some other time. I also explained why I'm dead to the world on Saturdays, because of my work schedule.
So here's the thing, I do like the guy and under normal circumstances I'd be more than happy to go out with him again. But when I talk to him I get this impression that he's ten times more into me than I am into him. It just makes me feel bad like it's inevitable that I'm going to hurt him. I almost feel like I should tell him I'm not interested now, just to spare him, except he is a guy I wouldn't mind dating, if I didn't feel this pressure to be crazy about him already.
Sigh.
I guess I should also add that I'm not a social animal. I love getting together with people, but I also very much need my alone time, and this guys has so far called me every single day I've known him. So even if I did decide I wanted to pursue a relationship with him, I'd need to convince him that he needs to leave me alone sometimes.
Sigh again.
I hate dating. Of course more than anything else this has me wondering again if I only fall for guys I can't have. At least it's Friday so once I get to work I'll be to busy to worry about any of this.
So we went out for coffee and had a really nice time. I was pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing by the end of Tuesday night, and told him to call me again, although he'd have to wait a couple days cause I work on Wednesday and Thursday.
Wednesday when I got home from work I found a message on my phone from him, asking me if I wanted to go out that afternoon for a hike. I called him back and explained he'd gotten my work schedule backwards. He thought I worked in the evenings on those days. He was really glad to hear that, and he mentioned something about being crushed when I hadn't call back earlier. He asked if I wanted to get together and I explained that it had been a tough day at work and I just wanted to crash, so he said he'd call me again around the same time the next day.
Thursday, he called me right after I got off work, and we agreed to see a movie and order some pizza. When I called it a night he asked if he could call me the next day and I said sure. So we just talked and he wanted to see me again today before I go to work. I told him that I was trying to get some writing done, and maybe some other time. I also explained why I'm dead to the world on Saturdays, because of my work schedule.
So here's the thing, I do like the guy and under normal circumstances I'd be more than happy to go out with him again. But when I talk to him I get this impression that he's ten times more into me than I am into him. It just makes me feel bad like it's inevitable that I'm going to hurt him. I almost feel like I should tell him I'm not interested now, just to spare him, except he is a guy I wouldn't mind dating, if I didn't feel this pressure to be crazy about him already.
Sigh.
I guess I should also add that I'm not a social animal. I love getting together with people, but I also very much need my alone time, and this guys has so far called me every single day I've known him. So even if I did decide I wanted to pursue a relationship with him, I'd need to convince him that he needs to leave me alone sometimes.
Sigh again.
I hate dating. Of course more than anything else this has me wondering again if I only fall for guys I can't have. At least it's Friday so once I get to work I'll be to busy to worry about any of this.
